Hi, internets! How has life been? Mine has been busy, but then again, isn’t everyone’s life busy? Lately I’ve had a lot of internal turmoil to deal with… too much emotion, too much negativity. So I’m trying to tell my self this throughout the day:
I am a ball of light. I am my own radiant energy, my own source of happiness and peace. I do not rely on anyone else’s light to make me happy. I want to be positive, I want to be happy, I want to be bright. All negativity that’s directed at me will be deflected away by my ball of light – it will not be absorbed. And when other people encounter my ball of light, it will undoubtedly shine on them and only do good.
I don’t know why this ball of light thing seems to make sense to me… basically, I want to be happy, and not bogged down by my own negativity and that of others. I feel that if I just work on my own inner light, it will radiate out and positively affect others, while still being a constant source of energy and happiness for me. I can’t rely on others to make me happy, and I can’t try to make them happy… I can just feed my ball of light, and shine through my life in that way. Does this make any sense at all?
In theory, it works. Yesterday I was able to maintain my focus on that ball of light until about mid-afternoon, and then I lost it. I once again became annoyed, frustrated, grumpy. But today is a new day, and my ball of light is in my hands.
So my far-away friend Wei-Wei tagged me for a little meme, in which I share seven random things about myself. Here we go:
- I treat myself every weekday morning to a tall soy no whip mocha from Starbucks. I used to feel bad about buying my coffee from a chain shop, and about spending the money. But my friend Lindsay helped me realize that it’s something I like, something I look forward to, and so it’s OKAY. My barista knows my name and my order. 🙂
- I have a girl crush on Giovanna Battaglia. She makes me want to wear Prada and smoke.
- I am addicted to Pinterest. When I actually have time to read blogs, I pin and pin and pin.
- I’ve always wanted to dye crazy colors in my hair. So I added pink and blue strips. But meh. I’m dying it back to dark brown. (At least I tried, right?)
- I have a new-found adoration for bi bim bap and banchan thanks to my friend Sandra. And I learned how to say “thank you” in Korean. (Kamsahamnida!)
- I seriously need some new clothes, but shopping just doesn’t sound fun, which is very weird for me. I don’t even feel like going shoe shopping. Maybe if it wasn’t 106 degrees outside, I’d feel like trying on fall clothes.
- I maybe think I need 10 hours of sleep a night. Probably.
Hope you’re all having a great week!