When you’re old

roux

When you’re old, you might whine a little bit. You might complain that people don’t pay enough attention to you, or that the temperature is too cool, or that no one gave you water from the sink.

You might yell when people are on the phone, or pout in a corner, or hide in the bathroom so everyone will leave you alone. You might need medicine for your arthritis, and for your indigestion, and you might eat special food for your kidneys. You might not be able to jump as high as you used to, or run very fast, or play for more than a few minutes without laying down.

Maybe you have a cardboard box that you curl up in during the day, or possibly some shoes that you can plop on, or maybe someone’s keyboard you can lay on. Maybe you get annoyed when someone coughs, or when another cat has the audacity to touch you, or when it’s 8:45AM and no one is watching you because they’re working.

Perhaps you just want to sleep all day, except for when you don’t, and perhaps you want everyone around you to know when you would like a hug, or a piece of cheese, or a lap. Perhaps you get angry and scratch on things, or swat at things, or pee on things.

Maybe the people around you wonder how you could have possibly gotten so old so fast, when just yesterday you were a kitten, so tiny and cute and young and agile. Maybe your aging makes them feel old, and maybe it makes them worry about losing you.

These things might happen when you’re old. Just FYI.

And then there’s this.

sunset

Some days, life seems like so much mud, and you’re sloshing through, trying to make progress, trying to move forward. It’s so hard, so tiring, so thick with doubt, and you feel like maybe you should just stop and become one with the mud.

But some days, the sun sets just so, and the music surrounds you, and you feel the love of friends and family, and life seems so open, so crisp, so light. These are the days you have to hang on to, the ones that you can plant in your mind to get you through the mud.

The mud has no chance.

Seventeen

Today was our 17th anniversary. 17! How are we possibly old enough to have been married 17 years?

So we had a late lunch at one of our favorite places, and we talked about life, and we danced to this song in the living room. I’m a little scared of growing old, but if my love is there with me, I know it will be okay.

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After years of having a 16GB iPhone, I got a 128GB one last fall. How did I live without this much space?! I used to uninstall apps just so I could download updates. And I’d have to delete photos nonstop.

Now I just keep everything on there, and take screen captures of random things, and make little videos, and generally just hoard things on my little phone.

Here’s a random collection of my recent grabs, and why (I think) I grabbed them.

1. I love Baz Luhrmann. I need to watch this ASAP.

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2. I’ve been using the Good Morning app lately. It’s supposed to “find the optimal time to wake you up, keep track of your sleep quality, and notify you if you have a sleep debt.” It does seem to wake me up when I’m actually ready to wake up, and it’s fun to see how well or poorly I’m sleeping. Though sometimes I feel reprimanded when my Sleep Quality is POOR. :( Note: Stayed up late watching movies, 5AM bathroom trip, 6:30AM MEOW MEOW MEOW PLEASE FEED ME.

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3. My grand-niece. I mean, come on.

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4. Jokes.

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5. Double reminder here – I want to read this book, and I want to hang out at Figure 8 again.

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6. Found this bit of truth in Jocelyn Glei’s awesome newsletter.

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7. Super-high bookshelves! Giant framed poster as a sort of headboard!

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8. Austin Kleon mentioned this graphic novel, saying it was super-boring but also kind of rad. I found it super-boring. Still, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a detailed, thorough illustrated version of the Book of Genesis. I found it at our lovely library (GN – Graphic Novel section, south side of 1st floor. I love my library.)

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9. When I was little, I had one My Little Pony and one Fashion Star Filly. Chloe was my gal, and she came with a tiny bottle of glitter gel that you could brush through her hair. Ah, Chloe.

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