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Keeping it together

July 28, 2010

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with life and all of its details. Sometimes it seems like I just don’t have enough… not enough time, or money, or energy, or life to give. Sometimes I feel like everyone and everything is pulling at all of my strings, and I’m slowly unraveling. I want to scream out, I want to curl up in a ball, I want to wrap my arms around myself and hold myself together.

What can I tell you about my life right now? I am working full time. I am trying to maintain relationships. I am trying to feed myself and my husband and my cats, and I am working on a project so big that it threatens to swallow me in one gulp. I will tell you all about it very soon, I think, as soon as everything is set. It’s exciting, and it’s all I want to talk about, think about, work on… why can’t life accommodate that?

So much pressure, stress, lack of sleep… I feel impatient, and tired, and frustrated. I’m trying to tell myself these things:

  • You have to take care of yourself, and do what is best for you. Even if it’s not best for everyone else. Even if it makes other people upset. Even if it means you’re not the “perfect” person.
  • You have to know your priorities, and stick to them. Even if others want to put their priorities first. Even if they try to make you feel guilty.
  • It’s okay to be grumpy. It won’t last forever.
  • At the end of all this, you will be stronger, braver, more capable, and proud of your accomplishments (thank you, Abby).

So internets, I hope to have more lovely food photos for you very soon. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and everything will be roses. Until then, a few things that have been making me happy:

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.

Be well, friends. Tomorrow is a new day.

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16 Discussion to this post
  1. bearette24 says:

    I love the twinkling lights. Thank you for linking to such pretty pictures.

  2. Sicilian says:

    I have the same issues you do. . . . everyone comes first. . . . me well I take 2nd place. Hopeful that things turn around for you soon. . . . be well. . .keep smiling. . .that will do more than anything for you.
    Ciao

  3. Wei-Wei says:

    You come first, Crystal. Don’t ever forget that. Go take some me time, and I really hope you feel better soon. 🙂 I agree with Abby!

    Wei-Wei

  4. Dad says:

    Hi mija,
    Seeing your pictures reminded me of something. Mom and I went to garage sales in Midland last saturday, and I found and bought you around 15 or 20 old records, some of then are 33 1/3 rpm, and some of them are 78 rpm…Some of them looked a little scratched, but they may be o.k. after cleaning up. I will figure out how to get them to you without breaking them. Feel better…love, dad

    • Crystal says:

      Wooooohoooooo! I’m so excited! They’re going to be so heavy, though… we’ll figure out some way to get them to my little record player. 🙂

  5. Yes! Take care of yourself, and the rest will come. And you gotta give in to the grumpy every once in a while.

  6. connie says:

    hang in there kiddo! Everything will get done and it will be fun, just one step at a time.

  7. anya says:

    Been there before. Helps sometimes to remember that we each have a piece of the sky to hold.. and are not alone. Hang in there!

  8. Flavia says:

    I like Anya’s way of thinking.
    When it happens to me – quite often lately, since we moved back to Italy – I embrace it, and it helps. All the sadness, the grief, the frustration… I accept it, I sit down, or lie down and curl up, and then breathe… and then the next day I’m ok again.
    Just do what you can and do your best… 2and this, too, shall pass” 😉

  9. Crystal says:

    Thank you so much, everyone. Your support is much needed and much appreciated.

  10. allyn says:

    we all get captured every once in a while. sometimes being captured by the ebb + flow of life isn’t so fun. like all the wonderful advice you’ve been receiving, it continues to move and it will move out. you have a positive spirit + your best will shine through!

  11. Jessica says:

    I really needed to read this today. Thanks.

  12. Crystal says:

    Thanks, Allyn, and Jessica, I’m so glad we could help each other feel a little better. 🙂

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